This new church was very different. It was lively though. The people loved being at the church and interacting with each other. There was fellowship. Joy. Love. Happiness. I wanted to be a part of all of it!
After attending the church with friends for several months, "it" happened. I was singing one of the songs and literally felt my heart lighten and was filled with overwhelming joy. I was singing and crying at the same time as I realized I had found what was missing.
I gave myself to God, Lord Jesus, and the Holy Spirit on December 9, 1997. I knew Lord Jesus had died for my sins and I was unworthy. I said it out loud to my friends as we rejoiced and I cried. The greatest person to ever walk the earth....one without sin....died for someone as lowly and undeserving as me. Overwhelming to say the least. I was humbled and grateful!
I knew in my heart that I was a changed person. I didn't fully understand what this change would mean, but I was certainly grateful I was now a Christian.
In my excitement, I told my family when visiting for a holiday. My Mom thought I joined a cult. My younger brother told me two things: "You have the right to believe the way you want. Do NOT talk to my children about this at all." My Dad was curious but did not ask any questions at the time.
Over the next few months, I was assigned a mentor to answer questions and help me understand my new life. I was so happy 😊
The journey was just beginning.
Friday, June 23, 2017
Thursday, June 15, 2017
Searching
I honestly did not search for God or Lord Jesus very much until after I left my parent's home. I did have questions about many traditions. I was more open to learning about other religions. I certainly didn't understand the disgust some people had with certain Christian groups. You don't need to agree with the beliefs. You don't need to, basically, hate either.
I searched for the difference often and did not really know if I would ever find a difference. I knew God existed. I believed in the miracle of Lord Jesus. My heart did not feel a change though. I was not sure I would feel a change in my heart though. I didn't know how I would 'know' what the difference was. I didn't have people to discuss the subject with.
I looked at many different religions that I knew very little about. I talked to ladies that came around from the Jehovah's Witnesses. They were different. They offered a look at a part of the Bible my mom had told me would scare me and to never read it: Revelations. After talking with those ladies, I read a part of Revelations and did not fear what I read. Honestly, I didn't understand it all but I did not feel fear. I attended Baptist churches and liked them but did not feel a real difference. I talked to Mormons (and disagreed with the teachings), Methodists, Lutherans, and a few others and nothing seemed very different. I kept talking to people of different beliefs hoping to find what I knew deep inside of me was missing.
I cried and begged God to show me the way. I was angry at times. I need to also mention I was also depressed. I spent most of my teenage years and young adult years depressed. I still searched because my heart told me over and over there was an answer. I would find what I was missing.
I moved to WV to help my brother and sister-in-law with their children. I met a lovely man and fell in love. I was happy for a time. And still searching.
My brother and his family moved. The lovely man broke off our relationship. I had to move back home with my parents. I tried to end my life. I didn't want to live that way anymore. When the knife barely cut even with the pressure I was applying, I fell apart and cried for a very long time. I looked into the ceiling, feeling like a complete failure, and asked the air "What am I to do now?" I continued to cry. I felt as though someone had wrapped his arms around me and the words "Come follow me" poured through my heart and mind. I knew it was Lord Jesus. I stopped crying and looked towards the future.
I worked very hard to go to school near the same area of WV I had lived. I really liked the area. Besides, I had hopes of restoring the broken relationship with the man who was now a close friend.
School started. I met people. I was still friends with that special guy. Life was looking up.
College classes are challenging. I was enjoying the life though. I met some really wonderful people.
After a few months of talking to Theresa and Lewis, I was ready to try the church they were attending. At first, I was shocked. Deep rose carpets and not brown. Chairs and not pews. No statues. No crucifixes. (I must add here that the lack of statues and crucifixes was a huge relief!) The music was different. The people were joyful and friendly. The entire experience was new, different, and most welcomed.
There was a change. The feeling inside me was different. I started to think I was closing in on what was missing.
I searched for the difference often and did not really know if I would ever find a difference. I knew God existed. I believed in the miracle of Lord Jesus. My heart did not feel a change though. I was not sure I would feel a change in my heart though. I didn't know how I would 'know' what the difference was. I didn't have people to discuss the subject with.
I looked at many different religions that I knew very little about. I talked to ladies that came around from the Jehovah's Witnesses. They were different. They offered a look at a part of the Bible my mom had told me would scare me and to never read it: Revelations. After talking with those ladies, I read a part of Revelations and did not fear what I read. Honestly, I didn't understand it all but I did not feel fear. I attended Baptist churches and liked them but did not feel a real difference. I talked to Mormons (and disagreed with the teachings), Methodists, Lutherans, and a few others and nothing seemed very different. I kept talking to people of different beliefs hoping to find what I knew deep inside of me was missing.
I cried and begged God to show me the way. I was angry at times. I need to also mention I was also depressed. I spent most of my teenage years and young adult years depressed. I still searched because my heart told me over and over there was an answer. I would find what I was missing.
I moved to WV to help my brother and sister-in-law with their children. I met a lovely man and fell in love. I was happy for a time. And still searching.
My brother and his family moved. The lovely man broke off our relationship. I had to move back home with my parents. I tried to end my life. I didn't want to live that way anymore. When the knife barely cut even with the pressure I was applying, I fell apart and cried for a very long time. I looked into the ceiling, feeling like a complete failure, and asked the air "What am I to do now?" I continued to cry. I felt as though someone had wrapped his arms around me and the words "Come follow me" poured through my heart and mind. I knew it was Lord Jesus. I stopped crying and looked towards the future.
I worked very hard to go to school near the same area of WV I had lived. I really liked the area. Besides, I had hopes of restoring the broken relationship with the man who was now a close friend.
School started. I met people. I was still friends with that special guy. Life was looking up.
College classes are challenging. I was enjoying the life though. I met some really wonderful people.
After a few months of talking to Theresa and Lewis, I was ready to try the church they were attending. At first, I was shocked. Deep rose carpets and not brown. Chairs and not pews. No statues. No crucifixes. (I must add here that the lack of statues and crucifixes was a huge relief!) The music was different. The people were joyful and friendly. The entire experience was new, different, and most welcomed.
There was a change. The feeling inside me was different. I started to think I was closing in on what was missing.
Sunday, June 11, 2017
In the beginning
I was born into a Catholic family. We attended church as often as possible. My family had statues and crucifixes everywhere. I attended a Catholic school where nuns and lay teachers taught all the basics and the Catholic religion. Sacraments were all a part of the growing and learning process. I was so happy to meet each 'goal' of the church. I read my Bible. I prayed all the time. Everything in my Catholic life went very well until I was 10.
Preparing for one of the sacraments, confession, I started to ask questions of the priest advising us and my parents. The answers were not to be found. Nothing about the Bible, even the Catholic Bible. (Yes, it is different!) Most of the answers were about tradition. What? God nor Jesus said it? Someone else decided and now that is what we do? That did not seem right to me.
---There are those that do not believe I questioned the church and traditions and beliefs at the age of 10, but I did. ----
I knew there was something more or different. There had to be. My mind and heart knew this without a doubt. A confused girl living in her Catholic family started searching for that 'something' that was different. I no longer considered myself to be Catholic.
The search continued for many years.
Preparing for one of the sacraments, confession, I started to ask questions of the priest advising us and my parents. The answers were not to be found. Nothing about the Bible, even the Catholic Bible. (Yes, it is different!) Most of the answers were about tradition. What? God nor Jesus said it? Someone else decided and now that is what we do? That did not seem right to me.
---There are those that do not believe I questioned the church and traditions and beliefs at the age of 10, but I did. ----
I knew there was something more or different. There had to be. My mind and heart knew this without a doubt. A confused girl living in her Catholic family started searching for that 'something' that was different. I no longer considered myself to be Catholic.
The search continued for many years.
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